Monday, February 25, 2008

Deliriumville, Insanityland. Population: Me

The thrilling conclusion to Da Vinny Code is forthcoming. But lately, I've been dealing with fever induced delirium. As such, it's rendered my creative mind useless as it spends its evenings wandering aimlessly.

"But Hunter," you readers plead "your style is nothing if not the aimless wanderings of a creative mind. How in the world does that stop you from writing?"

Well, let me tell you, this delirium was so off-the-wall insane that I struggle to find its origin. To put it bluntly, it was like being forced off a roller coaster at the very top of the loop-de-loop and thrown into a Ferris Wheel made of cotton candy and operated by nefarious squirrels only to discover that you never left the original ride which was, in fact, a log flume on a river of Jell-o .

Did that make a lick of sense to you? No? Good! You're perfectly sane, unlike I was last night.

Are you ready for this?

I was walking along minding my own business when suddenly, the world turned purple and I stood before the Baron Wolfgang der Mausenheimmer, sovereign of West Katzen (and my mustachioed cat). I pet him a few times at which point he fades into a background of bright zig zags. The word "Danube" is repeated over and over much to my confusion (not knowing what the heck "Danube" is). Then I am on MTSU, walking past the student union building. I get engaged in conversation with some guy I've never met and could not recognize in a line up of Bozo, Jason, Godzilla, and Pikachu. But for some reason, the guy tells me "Quit hatin' on Peyton". I assume he (I?) meant Peyton Manning. Now that line was insanely clever but utterly without origin or precedent.

Then I woke up to discover it was 5 am and thoroughly dehydrated from my romp through Deliriumville. Luckily, I was able to stumble to the fridge (which was inexplicably twice as big as it was that afternoon) and pour myself some apple juice. No more insanity after that.

Come morning, I hit up Wikipedia to figure out what, if anything, "Danube" was. It turns out its a major river in Germany (with that precise spelling). So apparently even my insane half is a know-it-all dork with proper spelling.

There? Are you happy now? You now know the true madness of my unhinged mind. So be grateful for the few rusty hinges I have left!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I invented Wikipedia. Also I swam the entire length of the Danube--still holding the record (look it up on Wikipedia). I am Adam Smith!