Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Year's Resolution

Okay, I have about 15 minutes left before 2009 ends, which means I cannot write my usual short essay on random stuff. So I shall be brief. My New Year's Resolution is to have more posts like the last where I just take an hour of time and write about whatever twice a week rather than work on massive updates that I never have time to complete. Let's see how long it takes for me to not live up to this resolution (I predict February AKA the month of EVIL).

Monday, December 14, 2009

Screw the rules! I have blogging!

Okay, I'm working the desk at Cummings Hall and the only alternative to blogging is studying, so I'm going to blog the ever-loving crud out of this desk. The problem is I don't have a prompt, so I'm going to try... WRITING SPONTANEOUSLY!

This really is ironic because spontaneous thought is one of my greatest strengths. You'd think that would translate well into blogging at random, but it hasn't. I suspect the Mayan Doomsday is to blame. But let's see what the next topic that comes to mind is...


Yeah, I know. Exciting stuff. But I have just about wrapped up tutoring for the semester and the general consensus is that I am eleven different kinds of awesome at my job. Mostly, I figure it's because I vaguely recall Algebra and don't back down. A prime example of this is coming up tonight, when I will be tutoring a girl in stats despite the fact I have not had stats since senior year of high school. Throw in that, being senior year, I didn't really learn anything that year and tonight should be very interesting. I figure I can bluff my way through with 95% certainty. That sounds vaguely mathy right? RIGHT?!

In years past, I might have written something about health care here, but I'm far too busy to get involved in the bickering fest du jour. Unfortunately, this morning I woke up with a bit of a sore throat and sneezed more than usual. This would not be a big concern, except for the fact that my immune system has two settings- "prevent everything" and "let the germs win". So right now, I'm a bit worried that at any given moment, I will explode with plague. And most of my finals' strategy incorporates me being relatively unexploded and plague-free. So I'm going to handle this the way I handle every disease: by chugging a gallon of orange juice! That is surely the healthiest thing to do in this situation, as well as the most delicious. By the way, I've noticed most of my medical decisions occur at the intersection of "Delicious" and "Healthy". It is only a matter of time before I synthesize an H1N1 vaccine inside of a donut. Yeah, that's right, medical students who read my blog, I don't have to grow my vaccine strains in a culture, I just synthesize them inside of pastries. I would share my secrets with you, but then I remembered the last time I visited the doctor, I didn't get a lollipop for being "a brave boy". I'm not sure when lollipop care was dropped, but I'm keeping my donut vaccine a secret in retaliation! But I digress. The important thing to remember is that I need to drink more orange juice and I am withholding imaginary vaccines that defy medical science from the health care industry.

Well, my time at the desk is officially over. I hope you've enjoyed this trip down Spontaneity Avenue. Coming up next time, Finals, Harry Potter, Assassin's Creed 2 and more!