Rounds 7 & 8
|49||Travis Kelce, KC TE||Hunterian Velociraptors|
|50||Greg Olsen, Car TE||19th Hole|
|51||Doug Martin, TB RB||Vandy PimpMasters|
|52||Vincent Jackson, TB WR||More Dr Pepper|
|53||Latavius Murray, Oak RB||Belmont Godfearers|
|54||Golden Tate, Det WR||Team Tune|
|55||Martellus Bennett, Chi TE||West Katzen Maus Munchers|
|56||Jeremy Maclin, KC WR||Team McLovin|
|57||Jason Witten, Dal TE||Team McLovin|
|58||LeGarrette Blount, NE RB||West Katzen Maus Munchers|
|59||Arian Foster*, Hou RB||Team Tune|
|60||T.J. Yeldon, Jac RB||Belmont Godfearers|
|61||Andre Ellington, Ari RB||More Dr Pepper|
|62||Owen Daniels, Den TE||Vandy PimpMasters|
|63||Giovani Bernard, Cin RB||19th Hole|
|64||Andre Johnson, Ind WR||Hunterian Velociraptors|
Pick I Love: I'm torn between Greg Olsen at #50 or Martellus Bennett at #55. On the one hand, I'm convinced Greg Olsen is the only person in the greater Charlotte area to ever catch a pass in an NFL game before and will be the only act in Camapalooza 2015 with Devin "Bunches of" Funchess as the opening act. On the other hand, Martellus Bennett gives you free reign to quote the 2nd best scene in Pulp Fiction at will ("WHAT DOES MARTELLUS BENNETT LOOK LIKE?!" P.S. 1st best scene in Pulp Fiction is the diner at the end because it's not only really cool, but it delivers an unexpected message as well as the thesis for the entire movie). So anyways, I'm going to give the nod to Martellus Bennett even though I think Olsen is the better player simply because Samuel L. Jackson is a better actor the Mary Kate, Ashley, or Elizabeth Olsen. What? I CAN BE PETTY!
Pick I Hate: Originally, I was going to have this whole thing about how Doug Martin was having all the upside drafted out of him by going this early and that it was a desperate effort to revive the Doug Connection. But I came to a twofold revelation: first, that even 3 years later, I still cannot hate Doug "the Muscle Hamster" Martin after he scored over 50 points in a game for me; second, that Doug Martin never had the phrase "tore his groin muscle right off the bone" associated with him like Arian Foster did this offseason. Currently, the medical prognosis for Foster is "it could be 4 weeks, it could be more than six weeks, who knows? I'm not a doctor." And generally I tend to avoid stashing guys on my bench indefinitely, like a barnacle clinging to a ship. In summation, come back to me, Doug Martin. The other Doug doesn't appreciate you like I do.
Picks I Made: Travis Kelce dueled Anthony Fasano into submission and became the sole Tight End in Kansas City, where state law prohibits Wide Receivers from scoring touchdowns. As a result, Kelce will be a target monster who descends from the foothills to prey upon weary and unsuspecting secondaries. Andre Johnson is the second half of the Murtaugh Duo in Indianapolis & I feel extremely confident in his ability to be a reliable (if unremarkable) fantasy starter, which frees me up to go CRAAAAAZZZZZY on guys with upside in the later rounds. Plus, Andrew Luck is by far the most talented quarterback that Andre Johnson has ever played for. I don't think it's impossible for him to return to 2013 levels of production (when he got 1400 yards and only 5 touchdowns). 2013 production is equal to 170 fantasy points, which would have been good enough for 11th among Wide Receivers last year, and that's pretty good upside for a pick at the end of the 8th round.
Rounds 9 & 10
|65||Ben Roethlisberger, Pit QB||Hunterian Velociraptors|
|66||Sammy Watkins, Buf WR||19th Hole|
|67||Rashad Jennings, NYG RB||Vandy PimpMasters|
|68||Brandon Marshall, NYJ WR||More Dr Pepper|
|69||Isaiah Crowell, Cle RB||Belmont Godfearers|
|70||Chris Ivory, NYJ RB||Team Tune|
|71||Tom Brady, NE QB||West Katzen Maus Munchers|
|72||Mike Wallace, Min WR||Team McLovin|
|73||Shane Vereen, NYG RB||Team McLovin|
|74||Tre Mason, StL RB||West Katzen Maus Munchers|
|75||Julius Thomas*, Jac TE||Team Tune|
|76||Jarvis Landry, Mia WR||Belmont Godfearers|
|77||C.J. Spiller, NO RB||More Dr Pepper|
|78||Allen Robinson, Jac WR||Vandy PimpMasters|
|79||Eric Decker, NYJ WR||19th Hole|
|80||Ameer Abdullah, Det RB||Hunterian Velociraptors|
Pick I Love: Chris Ivory at #70. I think the Jets offense will be better than we think it is. By that, I mean Ryan Fitzpatrick's uninspired quarterback play will be better than Geno Smith's hilariously inept quarterback play. And even with Geno Smith under center and CJ0K stealing half the carries, Ivory wound up a top 20 running back last year (which is as much a criticism of last year's runners as it is a compliment to Ivory's potential). Also, honorary mention goes to Allen Robinson aka The Only Show in Jacksonville. Naturally, I was hoping he'd fall to me but Doug foiled my plans again, because he is a robot sent from the future to hinder my fantasy football plans.
Pick I Hate: Julius Thomas at #75. But not because he had finger ligament surgery that will cost him the first quarter of the season. It's because I think you could wait until the end of the draft once you're the last guy to take a tight end. Even if it weren't for the injury, is Julius Thomas enough of an upgrade over Delanie Walker or Heath Miller that it's worth spending a 10th rounder on him? I feel the opportunity cost of taking Thomas instead of a flyer at WR or RB was too steep.
Pick I Made: Even if I had known Tom Brady was above the law (and I literally mean above the law- it is my understanding he actually lives in a zeppelin that hovers above the government's jurisdiction) and would serve no suspension, I'm still taking Roethlisberger here. In a vacuum, Brady is the better quarterback. But in a world where Roethlisberger has Antonio Brown and Le'Veon Bell and Brady has LeGarrette Blount and a mostly banged up Julian Edelman, Roethlisberger is the better fantasy option. Plus, I'm not sure I could live with myself actively rooting for the Patriots to score lots of points on the Steelers tonight. As for Ameer Abdullah, I'm all in on the alliterative hype train. For you see, he is not a mere Abdullah, but Ameer Abdullah. In non-wordplay terms, he looked really good in training camp & seems like an extremely versatile back whose only obstacle is the notoriously injury prone Joique Bell.
Round 11 & 12
|81||Ryan Mathews, Phi RB||Hunterian Velociraptors|
|82||Nelson Agholor, Phi WR||19th Hole|
|83||Sam Bradford, Phi QB||Vandy PimpMasters|
|84||Matt Ryan, Atl QB||More Dr Pepper|
|85||Brandon LaFell*, NE WR||Belmont Godfearers|
|86||Michael Floyd, Ari WR||Team Tune|
|87||Seahawks D/ST D/ST||West Katzen Maus Munchers|
|88||Bishop Sankey, Ten RB||Team McLovin|
|89||Bills D/ST D/ST||Team McLovin|
|90||Martavis Bryant, Pit WR||West Katzen Maus Munchers|
|91||Torrey Smith, SF WR||Team Tune|
|92||Tony Romo, Dal QB||Belmont Godfearers|
|93||Charles Johnson, Min WR||More Dr Pepper|
|94||David Cobb*, Ten RB||Vandy PimpMasters|
|95||Tevin Coleman, Atl RB||19th Hole|
|96||Markus Wheaton, Pit WR||Hunterian Velociraptors|
Pick I Love: Nelson Agholor. Besides the appeal of a deceptively unpronounceable last name, I also think Agholor could be the only receiver that Chip Kelly doesn't drive out of town. Also, Agholor has much of Amari Cooper's skill set but has the benefit of someone to throw him the ball.
Pick I Hate: Brandon LaFell, and again, this was before we found out he'd miss at least half a season on the PUP list. Once Wes Welker left New England in 2012, the question was "who would succeed him as Tom Brady's #2 target after the Gronkosaurus Rex?" Two years later, I think we can answer definitively: no one. Since Welker left town, the Pats haven't had a single non-Gronk receiver get a thousand yards in a season. Why would LaFell be different from Danny Amendola or Brandon Lloyd before him? It's not even that unique a phenomenon in fantasy football. For the past 8 years, you could trust Drew Brees to put up points and for his top target (either Marques Colston or Jimmy Graham) to be money in the fantasy bank. But after that, it was a total crap shoot. Sometimes it was Lance Moore, sometimes it was Devery Henderson, and sometimes it was the running back.
Pick I Made: If it weren't for DeMarco Murray, Ryan Mathews would have been a top 10 RB in this year's draft. And guess who has only played one 16 game season in his career? Well, yes, Ryan Mathews is a correct answer... but so is DeMarco Murray! And Murray is coming off a year where he had a workload that historically precipitates a steep fall off in production (the Curse of 370). Grabbing a potential top 10 RB in round 11 is a no-brainer (particularly with Miller, Ingram, and Bell poised to do the bulk of the heavy lifting at the position for my team). As for Wheaton, mostly this is a bet on him being able to improve in his 2nd full season and taking advantage of Martavis Bryant's suspension to become BFFs with Ben Roethlisberger.
Rounds 13, 14, 15, & 16
Pick I Love: Steve Smith Senor (pronounced SENN-or as in Senor Cardgage Mortgage) at pick #106. I genuinely do not know why Triple-S fell this far. He had a productive season last year (1065 yards, 6 touchdowns, and #18 among wide receivers in fantasy points), certainly compared to the WRs taken directly before him. His quarterback situation didn't change. The other starting wide receiver left town, so it's not like he's on the verge of being overtaken. The Ravens did get a new offensive coordinator, but it's one who is notoriously pass happy. Plus, you have the added incentive of it being announced as his last season in the league so you know he wants to make a strong last impression. The only reason I guess he fell to #106 is he's not a real high upside pick. But even then, how could you say he has a lower upside than Marques Colston or Larry Fitzgerald?
Pick I Hate: It's kinda hard to hate any pick this late. At this point, all these guys are essentially waiver wire picks anyways. So I'll say I hate Justin Tucker. He knows why.
Picks I Made: As I mentioned back in Part 1, I have a lurking suspicion that C.J. Anderson will, by injury or ill-luck, not be the starting running back in Denver by the year's end. Plus, I've gotten out of some tight spots in the past two years by betting on a backup to take over Manning's running game. Cody Latimer is almost exactly the same logic. You want a part of the Denver offense if you can get it. And I have a feeling we'll know pretty quick whether or not Latimer is a part of the gameplan. And that's what you want from a 14th round flyer: high upside & fast turnaround. Then I know whether or not to cut bait with Latimer by Week 3 and can, presumably, find some waiver wire gem that will, in retrospect, be completely obvious but at present totally eludes me.