Extreme Measures

First and foremost, let me apologize for the lengthy, unexpected hiatus from blogging. There have been some trying times these past few weeks because I lost someone very special to me, someone I never expected to lose. I speak, of course, of Triceratops, the coolest non-carnivore dinosaur there is.

Oh Triceratops! You were so young! Why? Why did you have to never exist?

It's just not fair! How can you cease to exist? I have so many fond memories of your fossilized exhibit battling the Tyrannosaurus Rex in the Museum of Natural History. Did that never happen either? And then there are the further questions it raises. For example, if the Triceratops never existed, then where did the Blue Ranger get his powers from? Sure he may have been the least popular power ranger, but that's no excuse for Zordon to lie to him! Congratulations, modern paleontology, you've made Zordon a liar. I hope you're happy!


I haven't been this upset at paleontologists since they declared the Brontosaurus to not be real either. What are they trying to accomplish by declaring the two most kid-friendly dinosaurs to have never existed?

Wait a second... brontosaurus... triceratops... kid friendly... you don't think they'd try to stop them?

The Land Before Time! Of course!

Paleontologists, is this your goal? To stop The Land Before Time XIV: The Children Who Saw the First One Have Graduated From College from ever existing by systematically destroying the species of the lead characters? Look, I agree that The Land Before Time series is now an abomination and needs to be stopped, but at what cost? The last Land Before Time movie was three years ago. Maybe I'm being optimistic, but I think they've finally run out of ideas... okay, never mind. That's never stopped them before and it won't stop them now. But they've quit! That's what matters, right?

Maybe I'm wrong, but don't be surprised if the Stegosaurus is the next dinosaur to never have existed.

P.S. I'm thinking about bringing some of the Fantasy Football content I write over to the blog (specifically, the weekly updates). However, I'm worried it might upset the vital sassy fine honey demographic. If that is the case, then I shall prepare an alternative source of content for you ladies to enjoy. The way I figure it my loyal readers will get to read more of what I write and I won't have to write as much for stuff that only gets read by seven other people. Of course, then there's the issue of presenting it in a way that doesn't rely solely on inside jokes, like my updates normally do. In any case, I'll post again sooner next time.