Over the past few weeks, I've noticed a blight spreading across Murfreesboro. And no, it's not the awesome Blight from Dragon Age that involves lots of swords and fireballs and epic quests across the land. This is a scourge of sub-par sub sandwiches. I speak of the rise of Subway. In the past three months, no less than four new Subways have opened. How does this keep happening? I understand that part of the problem is that there is a cultural stigma around eating at home in Murfreesboro and, to avoid the shame, most families eat out all the time. How else can you explain the hundreds of restaurants all over? But even then, you'd think the sheer level of competition would discourage Subway from multiplying like vermin. Whatever the case, here are five sandwich shops that are substantially better than Subway in almost every way (save for numerical advantage and geographic convenience).
The sandwich shoppes are evaluated on the five most important properties of sandwichology, according the the Luncheon Institute of Hunteria. Each category will be ranked on a scale of 1-5, because I have a theme going, with five being the most awesome and 1 being the most anti-awesome:
1. Deliciousness- The sheer quality of the sandwich
2. Speed- How quickly the sandwich is made
3. Price- Or how many hours you have to work for your sandwich
4. Deliciosity- This is the product of deliciousness times price times velocity then divided by pi (for dessert)
5. Coke- The availability of Coca-Cola products or, barring that, a delicious fruit punch.
Incidentally, this also is my list for Best Cheesesteaks in Murfreesboro too. It's probably coincidence.
5. Penn Station
Penn Station has one of the best sandwiches in Murfreesboro. If it didn't, it wouldn't be on this list (unless this whole thing is meant to be ironic). But by that, I mean it is bigger and tastier than almost every other sandwich on the list. The problem is it's also substantially more expensive than every other sandwich on the list and your sub won't be done in a timely fashion. Then the drink situation is a complete disaster. Not only is it not a Coke place, it also lacks even the most basic delicious fruit punch.
Deliciousness: 5
Speed: 2
Price: 2
Deliciosity: 6.36
Coke: 1
Total: 16.36
4. Newk's
Located in the Avenue Shopping Center, Newk's is a cafe that can't decide whether it wants to be formal or casual, so it does both. While its sandwiches aren't as big as Penn Station, they have much more variety due to their delicious soups and salads. Like a strong offensive line in football is to a quarterback, a strong soup can make a good sandwich great and a great sandwich legendary. As an added perk, the half sandwich & coup of soup combo is cheaper than a regular sized sandwich at Penn Station. The drinks, however, are a mixed hat. While it is a Coke place with Dr Pepper (which is full credit), it suffers when it comes to sizing. You have two choices for a cup: ridiculously tiny water cup (~6 oz) or more soda than any human should drink in one sitting (~32 oz). On the bright side, service is surprisingly quick.
Deliciousness: 4
Speed: 3
Price: 4
Deliciosity: 15.28
Coke: 4
Total: 30.28
