Lightning Post!

So as I start writing this I am a mere 30 minutes away from the start of the US vs Ghana soccer coverage, which will determine once and for all which set of star(s) and stripes is best (spoiler alert: it is America's). Now, normally I don't care much for any game that doesn't involve bats, tackles, or slam dunks designed to humiliate your opposition. I've actually managed to get real excited about soccer. I even have a better understanding of what "offsides" is than most of the referees. FIFA could not have schemed a better way to get Americans to watch soccer.

We begin the world cup against a country we have a long history with and that most Americans can locate on a map. Better yet, America fights England (a top 5 team by some accounts) to a draw (which is somehow acceptable in soccer). So people and media are able to be rightfully optimistic about the chances for Team USA. Everyone loves a winner (and, in this case, tie-ers) so people start caring. Then America nearly gets buried by Slovenia, a country most people think is Slovakia, in the first half. All hope seems lost for American soccer until they mount an unprecedented comeback, being denied victory only due to the blinding incompetence of the Malian Referee and FIFA's refusal to actually use technology in the most important soccer games of the 4 year cycle, but more on that later. The fact the US was denied a goal on offsides was a stroke of brilliance. First, nothing gets people more riled up than being wronged by "the man". Next, people actually had to understand the rules of soccer in order to be properly outraged. The American public actually attempted to learn a rule in soccer beyond "No Hands". Finally, there was a very simple scenario for the Algeria game: Win or Go Home. I don't recall the specifics from 2006, but I do recall we had a very intricate requirement to advance (which we failed on all counts). But it was something like "win by two goals while another team ties while scoring less than three". Those type of complex rules are fair, but bad for getting people involved in the stakes of the game. Nothing is worse than a meaningless victory. Once again, America gets screwed by the referee not understanding the definition of offsides, but this time people didn't have to wait to be outrage. But then, when all hope seems lost in stoppage time, Team USA rallies and scores in the most dramatic fashion soccer can provide (scoring with two minutes in soccer is like scoring with two seconds left in football or 2 outs in baseball; you can't realistically get another scoring shot after that). Finally, Team USA wins their group for the first time in 80 years and gets a relatively easy game against Ghana rather than against Germany.

If the games had occurred in any other order, people would not be as excited as we are now. We would be concerned about and disappointed in the team if the Slovenia game was first. We would've been disappointed by the result if we played England last. We would have been apathetic if the Algerian game was anywhere else. We would've tuned out if we had drawn Germany in the round of 16. Well, I am a mere ten minutes away from the kick off now, so I will save my complaints about the World Cup for another day. For now, I am going to bask in the improbable events that led to this.

One final thought: A win here would be huge for national pride. Think how cool we'll look when we win. We would have one of the top 8 soccer teams in the world and not even act like it's a big deal. We'd just pop on our shades and walk away in slow motion