Super Bowl- The Only Thing I'll Reliably Talk About

How is it Super Sunday already?! This is what I get for having exciting adventures with crazy results. So I've got about an hour before kickoff. Let's begin the fastest analysis of the Super Bowl on the whole internet.

Quarterbacks
This is a battle of Goliath vs a different kind of Goliath. Peyton Manning, self-described as a 6' 4 quarterback with a laser rocket arm and an endorsement contract greater than the GDP of several Third World countries, versus Drew Brees, who one man described as "a robot sent from the future, designed to tear apart NFL defenses". So we have the Chosen One, as determined by the American Consumer, versus the pinnacle of the Robot's future technology. We've already seen this fight before, when Neo fought Agent Smith at the end of the Matrix. I'll go ahead and say it, this is the first of many battles between Peyton Manning and Drew Brees. The first match-up will be a highly anticipated stalemate that ends with Peyton throwing Brees in front of a subway. Then in the next match-up, Drew Brees will kill Peyton, only to have Peyton rise from the dead and explode Drew Brees by jumping into him. Then the story gets very disappointing and I hate it forever. But I digress:
Advantage: Colts

Running Backs
The Colts have no rushing attack and embrace it. The Saints have a potentially explosive running attack but absolutely no idea how to use it. Still, they have a nonzero chance of guessing how to use it.

Advantage: Saints

Defense
The Colts best defensive player is Dwight "K. Schrute" Freeney. The Saints best defensive player is Darren Sharper. Dwight Schrute is my favorite office character, but he also has a bum ankle. However, Darren Sharper may be Sharper than the average NFL player, but is he really the Sharpest? This type of superlative adjective guessing favors the Colts.
Advantage: Colts

Prediction: Colts: Infinity +3 Saints: Infinity