RAWK LEGEND!!

Okay, I've been busy lately but now I am thoroughly exhausted from two hours of ultimate frisbee.

The big news is I will turn 21 tomorrow, meaning I will be one of the few to not drink underage (unless my mom spiked the orange juice, which she may have).

The smaller news is my friend Bean and I finally got around to the Never Ending Setlist in Rock Band. This may seem minor or trivial, but bear in mind that I failed 6th grade Band. Any minor positive reinforcement regarding my musical talent is a rarity among rarities for me. I was playing lead guitar and Bean was playing bass. The best part about playing guitar is you can always comically mispronounce the names of your role so that you are playing a guitar which is made of lead (probably too heavy and I bet it wouldn't sound good) or that you are strumming a some type of fish.

Another good thing about rock band is it lets you live out the fantasy of being a rock star in virtual form. I kept my rocker as close to myself as I felt I could. So he ended up with long flowing hair, a bandanna, and sunglasses. I also got him a double-neck guitar so I could pretend I was Jimmy Page... if Jimmy Page wore a bandanna. Sometimes, the immersion of the game was ruined by the clicking noise the guitar controller makes whenever you strum it or the annoying squeaking noise it makes whenever I miss a note. But if I close my eyes and use my imagination, it'd feel like I was up on stage with Mick Jagger, beating a mouse while tap dancing.

Bean and I formed a band right after Christmas, when I got Rock Band. We were the "Glorious Mausenheim Orchestra". We even have a band logo (a fireball with "GMO" written in Gothic letters) and motto (OMG! It's GMO!). It's pretty cool, for something abstract and intangible. You even get to pick where your band first meets (London). We began as a band which does crappy covers of songs by The Clash and Nirvana. But as our fan base grew, we began doing crappy covers of the Rolling Stones, Boston, and Black Sabbath. We became international superstars. After months of touring, GMO traveled the globe until we were invited to the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame (they really lowered their standards). The only odd thing about this invitation was the concert we had to play to be inducted into the Hall of Fame, the Never Ending Setlist, was that it was in Moscow. Because when the public thinks of rock n' roll, they think Moscow?

It was probably a trap set by bitter communists to assassinate me. But what the hey? It's worth the risk of dying to be immortalized.

But I digress, I was fully prepared for three hours of rocking. There were just under 60 songs and I thought that five minutes a song would be a fair assumption. Unfortunately, one of the criteria for getting a song in Rock Band is it must be freakishly long. The ordeal ended approximately seven hours later. I admit, 2 and a half hours were spent recovering from the first three hours of rocking. As the final notes of "Won't Get Fooled Again" appeared on screen, I new I had entered the echelons of those few great rock n' rollers who themselves had a friend and seven hours to kill.

Plus I got to see an awesome pretend pyrotechnics display.

I haven't let the success go to my head. My character still wears the same bandanna and sunglasses. Only now he plays his guitar in a suit of armor, made of gold. And I replaced with double-neck guitar with a more modest single neck guitar, also made of gold.