Gears of Peace

Well, the day is finally at hand. Gears of War 2 is just hours away. I could have gotten it last night at midnight, but Circuit City had a really good deal. If you bought your copy of Gears 2 from them, they gave you a $20 gift card for the Xbox Marketplace, an online store where dorks such as myself can waste their money on video game related content such as extra songs for Rock Band (the $1.50 I spent on More Than A Feeling was a wise investment), extra content for games (Shivering Isles for Oblivion pushed the total amount of time of my life I spent on Oblivion to ridiculous proportions), and even entire games (Pac-Man has a game on approximately his 900th console). So that bonus alone made it worthwhile to wait til this afternoon to get Gears 2.

But there's a big risk associated with it. There are no Circuit Cities in Murfreesboro. Heck, I doubt there's a Circuit Municipality. So I would have to drive to Nashville, if I was a sucker. For you see, I have a friend in Nashville called "Eric" Bean Machine who attends school at Belmont, a college famed for its ability at hosting presidential debates. I've given him instructions to pick up Gears of War 2 for me from Circuit City when he goes to get his copy. that way we kill two birds with one stone.

But that doesn't seem like much of a risk, right? Having my half Bean, half Cyborg friend pick up the game seems like a very easy solution. Those of us who know the Bean Machine know it's never that simple. The Bean Machine is about 5 foot 6 and weighs in at a whopping 80 pounds. So there is the possibility of a strong breeze coming in and bloweing him away. But I digress, that is not the Bean's forte. His real mystery is the seemingly supernatural way in which things backfire for him. Based on numerous errands I've seen him run in real life, and slightly less numerous errands I've seen him run in Oblivion, here is my prediction of what will happen:

The Bean will be driving along, following his Google Maps directions to Circuit City. He will accidentally turn left too soon and get hopelessly lost. The Bean Machine will meander aimlessly for a few hours before running out of gas. However, being a marathon runner, he will get out and make a bee line for the Circuit City, sprinting as fast as he can. Unfortunately, he will run into a wolf and anger it. So then he'll be running from a wolf to Circuit City only to run right in the middle of a bandit camp, where no less than 3 motley brigands wait for the opportunity to stab and rob him. Then the Bean will run into a den of skeleton monsters. The skeletons, bandits, and wolves will make an impromptu alliance in which they decide not to kill each other until the Bean is dead. The Bean will, somehow, make it to the Circuit City only somewhat wounded and pick up the Gears of War. But as soon as he walks outside, he'll be chased once again by the skeletons, bandits, and wolves until he runs into a skeleton wolf bandit. At which point the Bean Machine will be utterly doomed and the wolves will probably end up with the Gears of War.

But I digress. My broader point is that if there is a way it can go wrong, the Bean Machine will likely find it, through no fault of his own.

P.S. When I said all that stuff about gift cards, I really meant it was a gift card for scented candles. And Gears of War 2 has a bunch of stuff about being in touch with your emotions and being a good listener. You know, just in case any of my many lady readers managed to make it this far with a positive opinion about me.

Baba O'Riley

Well, I made a promise to myself that no matter what happened in the election I would quote The Who today.

The change, it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the foe, that's all
And the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed

Yeah, check out that vintage sassback, courtesy of Pete Townshend.

But seriously, everywhere I voted for the Republicans, they won in a landslide. Mere coincidence? Or undeniable proof that my vote counts 1,000 times more than a regular vote?!

I think we all know it's the latter.

Anyways, I'm not too upset about the election. And that is almost entirely because Gears of War 2 is coming out in 48 glorious hours. Then, everything that doesn't have a chainsaw bayonet will be insignificant for a solid weekend. So that's how I'll survive the first week. Now, time to formulate a plan for the subsequent 207 weeks of Obamania.

The real victim of the election is the Daily Show. For the past three years, since the departure of the Stephens (Stevens?) Colbert and Carrell, Jon Stewart's only joke has been "Mock a Republican". Now, what will he do for funny? He can't rely on his alleged supporting cast, as they're a black hole of funny. Truly dire times for comedy central.

My candy preferences is just a little bit racist...

I just turned down a Crunch Bar because it was made of dark chocolate. However, I have a proud history of enjoying white chocolate and milk chocolate. So in order to keep from being racist, I took the dark chocolate Crunch Bar and I am hating every fun sized bite of it. As I type, I'm looking at its half mangled body wondering how I will purge the taste from my mouth and now I'm thinking of that delicious cookies n cream bar that Hershey made years ago and how effective that would be at getting rid of the taste.

Anyways, to conclude this post, I accuse my taste buds of being racist.

New Stuff

Well, there are lots of new things on the horizon. My work at The Exploding Barrel has not gone unnoticed and I was invited ot be a part of their podcast. Unfortunately, none of us live within 500 miles of each other so actually recording it has been difficult. But the important thing is, bit by bit, the world is realizing how awesome I am.

I made two news packages, those little stories you've seen on the evening news that cut away from the news room. My first one was serious and was filmed and edited in a day and a half. I wasn't too proud of it, but it did well. My second package was significantly more Hunterian, and took an entire TWO DAYS to film and edit.

Speaking of news, I also became the host of a game show called Faceoff. The first episode was rough, but by the second episode I was as zany as they come. I will be posting both the game show and the package here as they become available.

Also, I may have gotten addicted to Fable 2 and stayed up til 3 am playing it more than once this week. But that's unlikely, to any single females reading this blog. I was most definitely staying up late rehearsing incredibly sincere romantic phrases.

Think I'm kidding? I've engineered a phrase that never backfires. "Your ex-boyfriend has done you wrong." It may not be the most romantic saying, but every girl who has ever dated another guy will entirely agree with it, regardless of objective reality.

This week, I am producing an election coverage show for the MTSU tv network. Then I film not one, but two more episodes of my game show. Then I will get addicted to Gears of War 2 on Friday. I mean, um, come up with a new method of affectionately holding hands?

Jim Carrey, what the heck?

I just saw a preview for his new movie: Yes Man. In this movie, he plays a man who always says no, but for 24 hours will do nothing but say yes.

If it sounds familiar, its because he already made this movie. If you replace "says no" with "lies" and "say yes" with "be honest", then you have his hit movie Liar Liar. That would've been all right, except the concept was originally an episode of I Love Lucy.

So my question is, at what point does it stop becoming plagiarism and start becoming an oral tradition?

The Blog is Not Dead

Man Bloggy, where did we go wrong? This song goes out to you.

I quit updating the blog/
Its updates were reduced to vapor/
I hope I don't see its name in the paper/
In the obituaries/
Because that would mean it was dead/
The Blog is not dead!
I'm so glad the Blog is not dead!
The Blog is not dead!
I'm so glad the blog is not dead!
I quit posting ideas/
But to be fair, the blog can't always be first/
I hope I don't see it in a hearse/
At the cemetary/
Because that would mean it was dead/
The Blog is not dead!
I'm so glad the Blog is not dead!
The Blog is not dead!
I'm so glad the blog is not dead!

Anyways, as I write this, there is no AC in my dorm. I am filled with loathing and hatred towards MTSU's repair staff. But I shall quell my fears by linking no less than three articles I wrote using the magic of hyperlink! I'll also throw in my archive, so you can skip the non-Hunter articles.

Unfortunately, I type this, I'm afraid my head has mostly been vaporized. Until next time dear readers.